MRS TEJU PHILIPS--FORMER COMMISSIONER IN LAGOS STATE

Chief (Mrs.) Teju Phillips, a chartered accountant and former commissioner in Lagos State, in this chat with TOLUWANI OLAMITOKE speaks on her career, role as a politician, marital life and how to run a successful home. Excerpts: Saturday, January 17, 2009

Who is Teju Phillips?

I’M a Lagosian, born and bred there. I schooled in the old Western Region-Ibadan and Oyo precisely, where I I had my primary, secondary and Higher School Certificate (HSC) education. I completed my education in the UK to become a Chartered Accountant. I worked briefly with my father and later Peatmarwick, that is, Ani-Ogunde as a chartered accountant. Peatmarwick used to be the old name. I also worked with UAC before joining the public service as a commissioner. I’m married to Engineer Lanre Phillips and we are blessed with four children and two grand children.

You are a politician. How easy do you think it is for a woman to get to the top in the Nigerian politics?

I was at the top of my career before I joined politics. To me, it has been an era of good education and hardwork to get to the peak and I got appointed as a commissioner.

As a former commissioner in Lagos State, what did you miss out of office?

I miss not serving the people as I used to. When in service, I had a lot of people I was dealing with compared to what holds now, the level has reduced. Despite being out of service, I still relate with and serve my people. This morning, I’ve had politicians coming to me, but the scope was larger when I was in the public service.

What was your growing up like?

It was simple. I grew up in a boarding school all my life there until I got married. I grew up well-disciplined.

Did you marry your spouse because he was rich?

I saw the simplicity in him. Again, I studied him and discovered he was a young man that had a future. The issue of wealth had no basis in the relationship. It was just a young man and a woman meeting, fell in love and got married.

As a daughter of a rich man, how were you able to cope?were you still taking pocket money from home?

When I married my husband, both parents gave us the opportunity to live by ourselves and be ourselves and I think that was a great contribution. I didn’t have interferences that could mar the relationship. Obviously, when you are married, you still have your parents to go to occasionally for advice. you still have their support one way or the other but it has not been a flogging support that destroys relationship.

What are those things that cause conflicts in marriage from your own experience?
Foremost, if your husband notices you do not respect him enough, that will cause a lot of conflict in your relationship. My advice is that you always ensure you respect his views and those things that matter to him must be adhered to. You will have arguments, that’s natural, but you have to argue in a way which will get him to listen to you. Don’t argue with your husband in a domineering manner or try to impose your views on him. If it’s going to take you a hundred and one times to discuss and repeat your views for him to see in your own light, then you do it that way, but please don’t attempt blasting it over him; no, it won’t work.
Again, you have to be domesticated –be a good cook and ensure that what goes into his mouth is super; you must be able to clean the home, have the ability to raise the children and inculcate discipline in the home. Monetary issues shouldn’t lead to crises all the time, no. Also, the habit of leaving kids to be manned by the man alone should not be encouraged. Rather, both couple must join hands together to say ‘no’ before the child when need be, you must let that child know it’s ‘no’ at that time. But when both are together and alone, you can now express your views or feeling on the subject. This encourages a total and perfect upbringing of the child. It’s very impotant to make the children learn to love and fear God from their early ages while the lifestyle of parents must also portray this example. children learn easily from what they see their parents or those who are close to them do. Where the woman has a career and has a lot of money, she shouldn’t flaunt it before her husband. Each other’s inadequacies must be managed, there is no perfect human being.

Can you compare your upbringing with that of your children?

My mother used to beat me a lot when I was young, but my style is different. I was strict with my children, they know I believe in the ‘food stick’ (omorogun), that’s what I used in threatening them. I sometimes tell them to pull their ears and go up and down as punishment. But it was not as tough as what my mother used to do. I feel that I was more liberal.

A school of thought says we are fast losing grasp of our mother tongue. Does this hold in your home?

Up to a point it did. I was corrected and had to made sure my kids had Yoruba lesson from 7 a.m-8 a.m every morning until they mastered it. When you are a career woman and you are off to work, you have home services provider that are there with the kids. They also come and brush in their own English language, they don’t dialogue with the children in Yoruba. So, I had to make conscious effort in making them learn and speak their mother tongue.

It’s obvious you have a successful marriage. What were the things you put in place to achieve this?

I thank God for my marriage. Not lacking in our relationship are patience, tolerance, endurance, hardwork, understanding, believing in the future, discipline and a good conscience. All these are backed with the fear of God.

What place does trust occupy in your relationship?

It holds a very important place.

Can you expatiate?

If you don’t put adequate trust in a relationship, issues that do not matter can come up and cause complications and destruction in a marriage. Come what, you have to trust each other.

How do you feel being a grandmother?

Wonderful! You see yourself in the children and grandchildren. Thank God for the grace of seeing the third generation.

What do you do to keep fit?

I eat well, exercise my body, take vitamins but much more, I always feel contented.

What would you like to be remembered for?

A stylistic ambitious woman with a large heart for the people.

Can you tell me your age?

I will be 55 years old this year.

Extracted from nigeria tribune newspaper